Category Archives: Comedy

May 19 2013
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Action, Comedy, Drama, Movies, The 59 Sci-Fi Movie Challenge

The Inverted Pyramid of Star Trek Movies

star trek into darkness nemesis insurrection first contact generations the undiscovered country the final frontier the voyage home the search for spock the wrath of khan the motion picture

I consider myself a bit of a trekkie. I grew up watching and loving The Next Generation, dabbled in reruns of the original series,  quite liked DS9, religiously watched Voyager and tried my best to like Enterprise. But one thing has always eluded me: the movies. To date, I have only seen some of the original movies, all the Next Generation ones and the JJ Abrams “Star Wars” years.

To finally rectify this, I decided to watch every single Star Trek film in the run up to Into Darkness. My mission, if you will, was to explore strange, old movies, to seek out dated special effects and receding hairlines, to boldly go where millions of geeky men have gone before.

Oh, also I decided to rank them from good to bad in a classic inverted pyramid style, so… ya. As always, lists are dangerous, so for fear of the wrath of die-hard Trek fans, this list is entirely my own opinion and I do not wish to be embroiled in any arguments about whether Kirk or Picard is better, because Picard is.

Here are my brief thoughts on each movie aswell as some random notes I wrote down during each viewing:

SPOILERS FOR ALL Continue reading →

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Apr 18 2013
4 Comments
Action, Comedy, Drama, Movies, Superheroes

The 2013 Movie Anticipatometer

Last year I invented the Anticipatometer, a method of anticipation-measuring that involves a third-party shouting various movie titles at me while I bounce on a trampoline. A fourth-party then measures the seismic readings of my “leaps for joy”, then feeds that data to a physician who adjusts the measurements according to my size, weight and body mass index. The properties are then ranked accordingly.

Looking back on the 2012 results, there were some instances where my anticipatory leaps became mournful hops of regret (Prometheus, American Reunion) and others where I continued to leap for joy upon exiting the cinema (The Avengers, Django Unchained). The rest were pretty good and were worth the wait – except maybe GI Joe (I quite enjoyed it, but the wait outweighed its merits).

What’s interesting is that only one movie from the list (The Avengers) made it into my 2012 Top Ten at the end of the year (although Django would have made it had it not been released here in January). This could indicate that sometimes too much hype can kill a movie or that there were a lot of surprises in 2012 or just that the movies I get excited about are rarely the best ones.

Here are the ten movies I’m most leaping for throughout the rest of 2013 (could not for the life of me find a still for Gravity):

The 2013 Movie Anticipatometer

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Apr 09 2013
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Action, Comedy, Drama, Movies, Reviews

Warm Bodies: Zombie and Juliet

warm bodies

“Horror-comedies” are usually not funny enough, not scary enough, or simply lacking in both departments. It’s hard enough to evoke either laughter or terror by themselves in a movie, but to blend the two and keep the balance right is an entirely different skillset and one that director Jonathan Levine deserves a heap of praise for. On top of that, he somehow brings credibility to what is a ludicrously daft love story.

The plot in one sentence:

R is a zombie who is unhappy with his shuffling existence and wants more from his life (or lack thereof), until he meets human Julie (get it? R and Julie! eh? eh?) and starts to remember what it means to be alive again…

The review in several paragraphs:

Zombie fatigue has set in. Not content with gracing B-movies for so many years, the undead have now escaped into every entertainment medium out there (except maybe reality TV, but I wouldn’t rule out zombie X Factor as a future possibility). The Shuffling Ones were once the domain of horror aficionados and those people who dress up for zombie marches every year. Now The Walking Dead is the most popular cable show in US history, classic literary texts are being retrofitted to include them, a new zombie video game seems to be released every week and even Brad Pitt is co-starring with them. Continue reading →

Mar 28 2013
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Comedy, Drama, Movies, TV

Why The Walking Dead and Toy Story are the same

Here’s a very well-laid out argument for why the first three seasons of The Walking Dead are the exact same as the first three Toy Story movies.

It’s bizarre, but hard to argue with. Thanks to Joe vs the Volcano for pointing me to this.

Click the image below and then keep pressing “next”.

Spoilers for Toy Story 1-3 and The Walking Dead 1-3.

Zombie Story The Walking Dead Toy Story

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Feb 25 2013
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Comedy, Movies, Oscars

Full Oscar Coverage on every other site in the world…

… here though, you’ll only find a blow-by-blow review of the trailer for Danny Dyer’s new film, “Run for your Wife”

0:07 – We’re told that the imaginatively named John Smith (Danny Dyer, playing himself) LOVES being a taxi driver. Which is representative of the sunny disposition of every taxi driver I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

0:11 – Rolf Harris as a busker. Things are looking up.

0:15 – I didn’t think this was possible, but we’re informed that there’s something Danny Dyer loves more than being a taxi driver – his wife, Denise Van Outen. Remember when we all used to fancy Denise van Outen? That was the 90s, I think.

0:18 – Oh holy shit, he’s got another wife! It’s yer wan from Girls Aloud, I think. Remember when we all used to fancy her? No, I don’t remember either.

0:25 – We’re told that things were going great for our hero Danny Dyer, the happy-go-luck taxi-driving bigamist, until he prevented some poor old homeless woman from being mugged. What a stupid thing to do, apparently.

0:35 – Both wives wake up in the morning wondering where Danny Dyer is, and both ring the exact same police station at the exact same time and say the exact same words, in exact same split screen.

0:44 – Now, all the paparazzi in the UK is after Danny Dyer. “You’ll be on the front page,” he’s told by Neil Morrisey, indicating a complete lack of interesting news on this particular day. Continue reading →

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Feb 11 2013
6 Comments
Comedy, Drama, Movies, Oscars, Reviews

Silver Linings Playbook: Cooper proves he can act, De Niro remembers how to

silver linings playbook

I owe Bradley Cooper an apology.

Before seeing Silver Linings Playbook, I was adamant that he was a terribly average actor and that his Oscar nomination was probably part of some mass Academy political movement/conspiracy theory to get one film in all four acting categories.

I was wrong. Bradley Cooper’s performance proves he is more than capable of handling a character of substance, perfectly conveying fear, heartbreak, hostility, confusion and eagerness in a subtle, endearing way that that is worthy of an Oscar.

I’m sorry, Mr. Cooper.

The plot in one sentence: Upon being released from a mental facility, bipolar Bradley Cooper sparks up a strange relationship with Jennifer Lawrence while attempting to mend fences with his estranged wife.

The review in several paragraphs: While it’s subject matter is notably dark, it meets it head on with enough humour and warmth that ensures that it never feels preachy, obvious or heavy-handed. What you get is a first-hand experience of how mental health issues affect everybody from the person trapped in their own head to their neighbours to the people closest in their lives. While I don’t have any personal experience with this, David O’Russell does and it’s clear the writing is coming from a real and honest place. While he doesn’t pull any punches, he’s not afraid to laugh either. The dialogue and situations are strange, funny and, I dare say it, quirky, but unlike try-hard indie fare, the off-kilter script is fitting. Continue reading →

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Jan 28 2013
4 Comments
Action, Comedy, Drama, Movies, Oscars, Reviews

Django Unchained: Saying Nothing, in the coolest way possible

django unchained leonardo di caprio

Django Unchained, like most of Tarantino’s movies, has little to say, but it says it in the best way possible. At this stage, audiences should know what they’re going to get – over-the-top performances from amazing actors in a genre-homage, wrapped in a crackling script and finished off with a cooler-than-Tarantino-himself-will-ever-be soundtrack. Django is more of the same, and it’s welcome.

Jamie Foxx is Django, a slave rescued by dentist-turned bounty-hunter Dr. Schultz (Christoph Waltz) who together team up on a mission to rescue the former slave’s wife from the ownership of the snaggle-toothed Monsieur Candy (Leonardo di Caprio). Little needs to be said about Waltz and di Caprio that all the award nominations cannot say. Blood was literally spilt. But Foxx is the bad-ass centre of the movie and he is as watchable and enjoyable the cool cowboy as any Eastwood or Wayne character. His friendship with Waltz is the heart of the movie and brings some unexpectedly touching moments – something not common, but welcome in a Tarantino script. Despite the B-movie/hyperactive nature of the characters, it’s easy to care whether they live or die. Continue reading →

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Oct 11 2012
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Comedy, Movies

Star Wars – Duel of the Fates Singalong

Oh no! Panda!

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Jul 18 2012
10 Comments
Comedy, Movies

Should we laugh at fat people in movies?

I just saw Ted and I don’t think I’m giving anything away by saying that one of the characters is an overweight child that features fairly prominently and who is mocked consistently for his size.

I always wonder about these kind of roles, and why actors agree to parts that deliberately exploit their physical appearance for laughs. I’m not talking about actors like John Candy or Jorge Garcia whose characters are fat, but this is not their only characteristic. I’m talking about the smaller roles; the actor who will be credited as “Fat Guy No. 3.” in a Farrelly Brothers film. These kind of bit-parts exist only as a visible gag, platform for the leading actor to deliver a punchline or just to be hilarious by virtue of being fat. Hilarious. In some cases, filmmakers don’t even bother to add comedy, the mere presence of a fat person is side-splitting enough to carry a whole scene, or even a whole movie. Continue reading →

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May 08 2012
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Action, Comedy, Movies, Superheroes

The Avengers: Too many superheroes improve the broth

So it’s now a fact. Spiderman 3 had no excuse for being so bad. The “too many villains” angle was a criticism frequently levelled at Raimi’s third spider-flick. And yes, there were too many villains, there was too much going on, but no, that’s not why Spiderman 3 was so bad. Spiderman 3 was so bad because it didn’t blend all its ingredients together properly. What we got was too many disparate elements, carelessly juggled onto a page and then thrown together for a finale as if it would make up for the previous 90 minutes of messy neglect. A smoothie, if you will, whose ingredients were all blended separately and then tossed together in a mixing jug of disappointment, resulting in them all sitting flat on top of one another.

On the other hand, The Avengers is the exact kind of smoothie you would want to drink and proves that you can have too many ingredients and still make it taste delicious. I promise I will now stop talking about Spiderman 3 and smoothies. Continue reading →

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